Moving Forward and Having Fun at Any Age

Unknown: 00:00:00

No

Ali Perry-Davies: 00:00:05

sleep. Let it sweep you off your feet. Hi, you're listening to find your joy. If you're looking for ways to thrive rather than survive in a world that can seem rather chaotic, you're in the right place, we will be sharing stories of our own, as well as those from guests who have found ways to bring hope, healing and freedom into places where trauma has impacted them. I'm Ali, author of the art of healing trauma. And I'm here to remind you that life is sweet. Now, let's dive in and find ways to create our joy. Hi, I'm Ali, and this is find your joy. And I really excited and a little bit nervous today, because I have the fabulous Nancy Guitar. Now see as a creator and the host of small talk. Now small talk, if you don't know started out to be it first started to be a cable show than a YouTube show. And I guess now we're calling it a podcast. Hi, Nancy. How are you?

Nancy Guitar: 00:01:10

I'm good. Thanks so much for having me.

Ali Perry-Davies: 00:01:12

No. Did I? Did I do the chronological order of how your show started? Close to right.

Nancy Guitar: 00:01:19

Yeah, close to it doesn't matter. Yeah, that's right.

Ali Perry-Davies: 00:01:22

Well, now you've been doing, I guess I'll just start with small talk, you've been doing small talk for how many years now?

Nancy Guitar: 00:01:29

I can't remember smokin because it started out as getting to know you. Right? That's when I was with Shaw TV, their community access program. And that got closed down. And then I decided, well, if I'm going to start over, I'm gonna have a new name. So it might have been about three or four years ago that it changed.

Ali Perry-Davies: 00:01:46

And what inspired you what even inspired you to start doing something like this?

Nancy Guitar: 00:01:52

I don't know. It was interesting, because like I wanted to volunteer at Shang and the whole intention was to have an art show. Just because I think people's lives are so fascinating, you know, and I just want to know about them and, and talk to them, see what they'd be willing to share

Ali Perry-Davies: 00:02:09

with us. I love that you say that. And, and for you, I see that your guests. It is so eclectic. Like you have artists of all you know, whether it's musicians, or painters, or writers or whatever, but you have politicians, you have activists, you have people who just have so many, it's such a wide variety of interests. How do you find the people that are on your show?

Nancy Guitar: 00:02:37

Most actually, most of them are through Facebook, but I do get recommendations. A lot of the musicians, especially our recommendations from maybe a record company that I interviewed or something, you know, I love? Yeah, I really do love it when somebody approaches me and asked me if they can be on the show rather than me always approaching them. But it's mainly through Facebook, I would say.

Ali Perry-Davies: 00:02:58

Right. So when I was reading a little bit about you, and I was really excited to find out. So you started this now can I can tell you a little bit now your your age is

Nancy Guitar: 00:03:10

on 74. Currently, I'm going to be 75 in a few weeks.

Ali Perry-Davies: 00:03:15

Holy smokes, you're 75 is the new 55 I guess so that so? Or is that backwards? Did I say it? I don't really I don't remember how that goes exactly. But you show when you're talking about this. So you started this in your 70s Unless you are limitless in terms of there's nothing you're not sitting around saying well, I'm probably not going to start a new career. Because I'm in my 70s You're reinventing yourself every day. Well, I'm a

Nancy Guitar: 00:03:43

late bloomer. To be honest, I really am a late bloomer. You know, I started doing some Stand Up Comedy in my 50s improv in my 60s and the show, you know, I just didn't have the confidence when I was younger to do anything.

Ali Perry-Davies: 00:03:57

Like, eat. So, so I think this I love this. Let's go down that little trail for a while. So when we're little we see a lot of people and they start to feel like I did this an episode some Wiles back some while back because I had this ongoing dream. I may have even said this to you before, I can't really remember. But I but I had this ongoing dream about having a baby and the baby's name was Joshua. And then basically how it turned out was my dream, I believe was all about looking at people that might feel like they've missed their chance or they're late bloomers, or they're in their twilight years, whatever it is, and they start to do this thing that they were maybe created for born to do. And I love what you're saying you didn't have the confidence before. Well, I'm not saying I love that you didn't have the confidence. But so at what point did you start to think I'm just going to do this thing. I don't care how old I am. I'm just going to gon be a stand up comedian in my 50s?

Nancy Guitar: 00:05:03

Oh, it kind of happened because one of my nieces, I entered a speech contest was humorous speech contest and for a story, an organization that teaches people how public speaking, but no, she was fantastic. But she didn't win the contest because it wasn't really in a speech form. It was like stand up comedy. So I just happen to say to her, you know, because I felt she should be on stage, but she was shy. So I said, if you do it, I'll do it. And she's and I said, if I find a venue, would you do it? And she agreed, so we became the small Y sas comedy runts spelt with a Zed.

Ali Perry-Davies: 00:05:42

Oh my gosh, that's awesome. And so? No, did you? Did you write your own material? Did you? How did you? Because it's really funny. I know, for myself, I've thought I've looked at stand up comedy. And you know, you have people say to you all the time, you know, Oh, you're so funny. Are you gonna steal this? And then someone will say to me, like, do something funny or say something funny, or they thought my book would be funny, or all these things. And I'm like, as soon as someone asks me to be funny, I'm like a deer in the headlights? How to do? Was it just in you, you just knew you started? What did you how did you write your stuff?

Nancy Guitar: 00:06:11

Well, a lot of the dislike about myself, like I grew up in a family, like we were, we were come from an abusive home. But one of the things that we've always done is have fun together. And we all have this wacky sense of humor, you know, so I think was just there. But you you write your material and you write the best comedy, I believe is when you write about what you know. Oh, right. So and but also like, my niece and I, we did different stage time, but we drop bombs on each other, you know, I would just leave something, say something about her. And I walk up on stage and she has to come on and deal with that. Right? So would you just would just played like that for for long.

Ali Perry-Davies: 00:06:51

I love it. And so it was that sort of improvisational, like when you did that? You didn't that wasn't rehearsed. You just you did your bit. And then meal POM You just dropped just dropped a bomb for her? Yeah. And in a way that's kind of wonderful. Because now she has something to open with it. It's fresh.

Nancy Guitar: 00:07:08

Yeah. And we made this fun part. We were hired at a local hotel to do a host at a comedy night, once a week. But the manager said okay, no, no bad words. Nothing like that. No, okay. Normally, neither one of us talk like that, at least not in public. But she happened to write this song. And in the song, she drops the F bomb. It just says she did that the manager walked in. So we got fired. So we put that on our resume. It was just so hilarious. So I mean, comedy

Ali Perry-Davies: 00:07:41

that was fired for using the F bomb.

Nancy Guitar: 00:07:46

Comedy nowadays, it's all about the F bomb.

Ali Perry-Davies: 00:07:49

Yeah, well, you know, it's funny you say that, because I think sometimes I don't really care what language someone uses. However, the F bomb in itself is not a joke. So when people use it, over and over and over and over again, it kind of it just waters down what they're saying. For me, even though I, I can freely use the I don't use it. I don't use it when I write. Right, and I don't use it on air. But if you're sitting across a table from me, you're going to hear an F bomb or to likely, but it's funny when I'm listening to I know when I'm listening to someone do comedy. Sometimes it's funny. It's like a little exclamation point at the end of something. And sometimes it kind of diminishes what they're saying. So how long did you do stand up for?

Nancy Guitar: 00:08:39

I can't remember, like somebody wanted to I'm sorry, I have a really bad member for it. And that's okay. I

Ali Perry-Davies: 00:08:43

have a brain injury. I mean, I'm just, I'm just, I don't remember what we started talking about. I might start repeating everything. So you're, it's all good with me?

Nancy Guitar: 00:08:52

Well, we did it for a few years, we had a lot of solo, solo solo shows. And somebody wanted to manage us and send us on different areas across country. But what happened was, my niece had young children at the time, and she helped that she couldn't do that, you know. And so that's just sort of fizzled out like that. And then before you know it, somebody invited me to join an improv team. And oh, that was fun.

Ali Perry-Davies: 00:09:20

Oh, I can just imagine, so that sort of like, Whose Line is it? Or one of those things like Drew Carey, and things like that, right. Yeah, I think that would be really fun. Because I would imagine that I know how my mind works. And so something that I don't have to remember. And it's just going to be off the top of my head. I actually prefer life that way. Anything anything if they if someone wants me to know ahead of time, I'm like, Oh, now we're gonna have a problem. So that was fun. And then so how long did you do that for

Nancy Guitar: 00:09:55

quite a number of years and that that ended with COVID Right on Fortunately, you know, when I was starting to lose my edge anyway, and like for me, I have to be able to perform well, that doesn't matter what it is, you know, I can't, if I'm, if I'm struggling, if I'm on stage and I'm struggling, then somebody else has to carry me, that's not going to work. So it for me, it ended at a good time. Right?

Ali Perry-Davies: 00:10:22

It was right. So so you, you start out, you're, you've basically you've come from this place, you had been really ill as a child, right? I remember reading, I was reading your bio, and that you you'd struggle with health things throughout. And so that created, I'm guessing a certain way that you learn to interact or not, and see the world or not, because when we're kids, and we have health conditions, or I, I share a bit, we share a lot of common history, and we've talked about that, we share a lot of common history. And that kind of creates, that's the perfect formula for someone as fabulous as you because I look and I see things that you're doing now. So I'm like, I'm just blown away, you've got over 500 shows that you've done already. And that's just with this. I mean, that's not talking about all the other things you've done. And I thought, I thought, oh, that's just fabulous. And then I see these paintings that you're doing, and the movement and the color and the and it's just I love them. And then I'm looking and you've been doing stand up and an improv, and I'm like, there's just seems to be no end to the things that that pour out of you creatively.

Nancy Guitar: 00:11:39

It's kind of interesting, you know, because I'm just gonna post something this morning on Facebook, like, I'm a person who never felt they belonged. I always felt like as an outsider looking in, and that comes a lot from being ill as a child, I spent a lot of time alone. My my brothers and sisters were, you know, playing and having fun together. Right. Right. And then at some point, I realized, like, maybe there's more to me than I think there is, you know, maybe I can do things that I didn't think I could do. So I just start trying things. And the worst thing I can I, when I hear people say, Oh, I'm too old to do something, it's like, that makes me nuts. It really say you're too afraid, say you can't afford it or something like that. But never say you're too old. Because why would you be too old? You know, I started painting two years ago. Some of it works. So some of it doesn't, you know, and so what? Right? If so what if it doesn't work? What's the worst that can happen? Right? This is my view of life in general, what's the worst that could happen? You know, you fail? And that's a learning lesson. Right?

Ali Perry-Davies: 00:12:43

Right. It's amazing. I forget where I was going with this conversation. Oh, it's perfect. And you went exactly to the right spot. Because I, because I love that. And when it's making me think of is is. You know, I'll be 64 this year, you'll be 7575. Okay, so as as to women that are seasoned as it were? I'm thinking, how do we tell younger women? I don't really tell them? How do we share our hope, our strength our experience with someone because I would love to see somebody catch this at 20. And not at 40 and 50. And six, I mean, it's great. And I don't care if they're 90 in the gadget, just please catch it. If you're 90, if you're 20. What do we want to say? What would I tell them?

Nancy Guitar: 00:13:39

The problem with that I think with when we're younger is we want to impress hmm, we don't know how to be ourselves, we need we dress maybe for a man or another woman or something like that. Because, you know, you look out there in the eye and you read the I see the ads, and we all have to look a certain way. And I grew up thinking those things, but myself too. You know, it wasn't I took some acting classes and a teacher said to me, Nancy, you're quirky and not the good thing. And that's what woke me up. Like it made me realize that it's okay to be different. It's okay to just do those things that you want to do. Be your own person. Don't be what somebody else expects you to be. And that's the biggest thing for for females, especially, you know, yes, let's set the world we live in. Like, if you're older, well, you no longer can be a host of a knock on a news. You can't be a news anchor if you're female, right? Men say that males do that. So we have to stop that we have to go try anyway, keep trying. And eventually they're going to realize that wait a minute, you know, these females are just as good as this older male, this older female. We have we have the ability to do whatever we want. When we stop ourselves. Guess what? I believe we stopped ourselves. So if you're a young person out there Don't be you don't be what somebody else expects you to be.

Ali Perry-Davies: 00:15:04

Yes, yes. And find out what being you means. Because I think I love when you're saying that because I think now I can only speak for myself. And I'm gonna say, for all the slagging of the generations that come after us, it goes on, I see it the opposite. And maybe, and maybe it's because like you, you have a niece, and I have kids, my kids are adults now. In fact, my granddaughter is an adult, now I have grandkids. But I think that that's one thing that really connects me to the younger generations. I think they're amazing. And I see, young women are, you know, I get it, they're standing on our shoulders. And that's wonderful. But they still have to choose to do that on their own. And I see the generations behind us coming up, a lot of them stronger, and really focused way more than I was at their age like I don't, you know, I was I was a teenager in the 70s, I promise you, I wasn't considering my life path at that time, right? I was. And in that in the generation that I come from, it sounds so funny to say that, but it really was a lot more about. I think, as a young woman, I thought it was quite important to be pretty, to be liked to have a man to maybe be a mother and maybe be able to cook like these things. Even though I had other dreams and goals. It was still being sold to us that this was the way to be a woman. This This was still the stick that was, you know, this was still the rhetoric that was going on. I don't really know how much it is now, because I still see young people that appear to be a little bit concerned about what anyone else thinks. So I don't think they're completely free of it. But I think that they might, I don't know, what do you think I think that they're, the generations behind us seem to be getting it a little bit quicker than we did? Of course, because

Nancy Guitar: 00:17:18

there it's talked about? Yes. When I grew up, nobody ever talked about what women should or shouldn't do you just know your place? No, yes. Basically, that was it, you know, but that's not the world we, you know, because it's so open now. With the internet with all kinds of, you know, like Facebook and all these that we can see things differently. Yes, people view things differently. Right. Yes, exactly. That's a wonderful thing. I mean, again, there's still going to be the all of those that want to look like a certain way, whatever like that, you know, like, you know, when when we think about Princess Diana, Diana, Diana, people copied her hair because she had this, you know, like, for me, it's like, Why? Why aren't you just being you? Right? But for some people is it's hard to get there. But again, because people are talking about it. It's there now.

Ali Perry-Davies: 00:18:15

It is in order to even be away aware that there's nothing there to get to. Yes, exactly. I didn't even know it didn't even really occur to me. I mean, I was more concerned with fitting in that was what was important. And and so I love that. I love that so much. So when you so now when you're what's next, what's next for Nancy guitar? I mean, first of all, you got the best name ever.

Nancy Guitar: 00:18:42

It's funny, because a lot of people think it's a name, a stage name. And it's actually my name.

Ali Perry-Davies: 00:18:48

Yes. I love it. I love it. So So what's next for you? I mean, I mean, it just seemed you're so limitless to me. You're just limitless?

Nancy Guitar: 00:18:57

Well, I'm right now I'm just you know, I'm in the process of war. I have a lot of interviews coming up. And I wish I will continue as long as I can speak properly without stumbling over my words. But I'm in the process of organizing myself a great big birthday party for my 75th birthday. You're invited. Of course, it's all oh my gosh, made their teeth and here in Chilliwack have dashlets all. So I'm organizing that and the whole idea was like, I don't want presents because what do I need? I don't want stuff,

Ali Perry-Davies: 00:19:25

please. Yes, yes. Yes. It's just because

Nancy Guitar: 00:19:28

of COVID and all the bats, you know, a lot of bad stuff that come out of there. I want people to just come and have fun. We're going to have live musicians and it's a potluck and it's just get up there and dance if you can dance or you know, just share some laughs and some fun with people. Just Yes, just because

Ali Perry-Davies: 00:19:47

just because we can

Nancy Guitar: 00:19:50

after that, I don't know more painting probably. I haven't thought about anything else that uh, you know, me I do think about things and I think they're do I want to do that doesn't take much work. You're gonna take like, maybe not. And I live in a condo, and I'm also on the social committee here. So, you know, and I'm also on council, he that I just did it because they need people. That way, I have a very full life, you know, and so it's a lot of stuff to do. And it's like, okay, I don't need that take on any more at this point. But yes. might be something new tomorrow. Who knows?

Ali Perry-Davies: 00:20:33

Exactly. So if people want to contact you to, to see if they're a fit for your show? What are some of the ways that they can do that? How are they going to get in touch with you?

Nancy Guitar: 00:20:45

The easiest way is on Facebook, just my under my personal name, Nancy guitar. My show was also on there under a small talk Nancy guitar as well. And as for, you know, I had somebody on who, who's who swore off the allotted language, and I laughed so much, it was so much fun. I don't edit. I don't know how to edit, behave, editing. So right, it just get what you see. But but Facebook is probably the easiest way. Okay.

Ali Perry-Davies: 00:21:13

So is there any? Is there anybody that you're kind of hoping to interview or any style of? Or any? What am I any type of person that you're looking for? Like? How do people know if they're going to be a fit for you? Who are you? What kind of people are you interested in?

Nancy Guitar: 00:21:31

Anybody who's willing to talk in front of a camera, anybody who has something to share, or they want to talk about their business or their creativity? Like what I do when I look for people on Facebook, I look at the first thing I do is look at their profile. Some people say self employed, and that's it. And it's like, well, what the heck does that mean? I don't know what that means. Right? If you can't find anything, so if you put if you put like, for instance, author or podcaster, or, you know, whatever it is, put what you do. And then I think, oh, maybe they be like to be on the show. I don't care what you do. I'm just happy to have you on.

Ali Perry-Davies: 00:22:07

Oh, that's wonderful. Right. Right. As the more the variety,

Nancy Guitar: 00:22:10

the better. Never had to dunk drawn yet. That's one of my dreams as a

Ali Perry-Davies: 00:22:15

doctor. Okay, well, hey, if I've got some doctor friends out there, I know I do. Nancy would love to interview you. And just, Oh, that's great. I won't call them out by name, but you know,

Nancy Guitar: 00:22:30

they're interested, please contact me. I mean, more than happy. I mean, I'm booked pretty well till the end of May. Because I only have the show three days a week. So do it five days a week, but it was too much. But anyway. Yeah, I'm always happy to put new people on

Ali Perry-Davies: 00:22:47

anytime you're doing three Shows a week?

Nancy Guitar: 00:22:50

Yes.

Ali Perry-Davies: 00:22:53

Oh, my gosh, I have so much to learn from you. It's just just This is wonderful. Well, Nancy, I, I, I would love to have you on as a guest again, another day because there is so I know that we're just scratching the surface. I know that we are you're just you're just a delight. You hate to use that word because I just it's just the truth. It's just the most honest descriptive word I can think about you. You're just a delightful human being. You're just, you're wonderful. You're inspiring. You've been doing so much for so long. And there just seems to be more popping up out of you all the time. So I guess the message here today is it's never too late. Be yourself. And don't ever tell Nancy guitar that you're too old to do anything.

Nancy Guitar: 00:23:47

More importantly, have fun.

Ali Perry-Davies: 00:23:49

Yeah. Yes. Because life is much shorter than we would like it to be.

Nancy Guitar: 00:23:56

For sure. Yeah. Oh, this

Ali Perry-Davies: 00:24:00

part of me.

Nancy Guitar: 00:24:01

This has been fun for me too. So thank you. I do appreciate you inviting me on.

Ali Perry-Davies: 00:24:05

Oh, I'm, I'm so happy that you came and I am like I said, I'll be for sure asking you back. You can get a hold of Nancy small talk with Nancy guitar, Nancy guitar and LinkedIn on Facebook. I will definitely have all her links will be in the show notes. Thank you again, Nancy, for being here. It's been. It's been really fun. And I'm Allie. And this is find your joy. Now go out and find some joy, and have fun because Nancy said so.

Ali Perry-Davies: 00:24:43

Thanks so much for joining me today. If you found a piece of your joy in this episode, I would love to hear about what came up for you so that we can continue to grow the impact of this show. Thanks again. See you soon. And remember, find your joy Sweet